Cami: I’m going to magic you. Zim!
Me: But nothing has happened.
Cami: It’s just pretend.
Me: Can you do some real magic?
Cami: I’m doing pretend magic. Yes, something needs to happen.
Me: Do some real magic then.
Cami: Magic you. Magic you. Turn Daddy into a little fairy. Zim!
Me: Oh.
Cami: No, that’s not right. Magic you. Magic you. Zim! Turn Daddy into a fairy pirate!
Me: That’s more like it.
Conversation with a six-year-old.
Issy: Who are the Beatles?
Me: Four guys who made music together
Issy: What are their names?
Me: John, Paul, George and Ringo
Issy: Are they still alive?
Me: Two are alive and two are dead
Issy: Is Paul dead?
Me: Everyone thought Paul was dead. It turned out he was just tricking.
John and George are dead
Issy: How did they die?
Me: John got shot and George got sick and couldn’t get better
Issy: The Beatles are GREAT!
Conversation with a six-year-old:
The famous bushranger gets a little makeover
6-year-old: Who’s that?
Me: Ned Kelly
6-year-old: Did he die?
Me: Yes, a long time ago
6-year-old: Did he die in the 1980s or 1930s?
Me: A bit longer ago then that
6-year-old: The 1950s? … is he famous?
Me: Yes, for robbing people and standing up to authority
6-year-old: I’m going to draw a rainbow Ned Kelly
Me: He would’ve liked that sweetheart
Charlie: Mum? You know puppy school? Well, there is a big dog
there who teaches all the puppies to be dogs.
Mum: Charlie, I think it’s a person who teaches the puppies.
Charlie: Mum, that’s crazy. Dogs don’t teach babies how to be people…
Can’t really fault the logic.
Dog drawing: Matt Davidson
A conversation with a 5-year-old.
Me: What’s going to be the best thing about Easter?
Issy: Ghosts.
Me: Ghosts? What do you mean ghosts?
Issy: Ghosts. Dressing up as a ghost.
Me: Isn’t that for Halloween?
Issy: No, I mean Easter ghosts.
Me: I’ve never heard of them.
Issy: They eat bunnies.
Scents and Nonsensibilty:
A three-year-old reveals her acute olfactory dysfunction
Camille: Your head smells like orange juice.
Me: Really? What does my chin smell like?
Camille: Lemon squeezy.
Me: What about my eye?
Camille: Sniff, sniff. Bananas! I smell your other eye, it smells like ham.
Me: And what about …
Camille: I smell your ear now … sniff, sniff, sniff. Ha! Chocolate!
Isadora: Are there pirates in the Philippines?
Me: Yes, and other places … on the high seas. How can you spot if
someone is a pirate?
Isadora: They have a scratch on their face and wood leg.
Me: What do pirates do?
Isadora: They do three things.
Me: Three?
Isadora: They steal boats. Steal treasure. And chase people.
Me: Would you like to meet a pirate?
Isadora: No. I want to watch them on TV, when I’m 6 or 7.
My best four year old friend (BFYOF) and I were reading The Perfect Monster by Sally Grindley and Erica-Jane Waters when the coversation turned to the nature of reality, epistemology, exceptionalism, popcorn and Tinkerbell dresses.
Me: Do you think the characters are real?
BFYOF: Ummm, yes!
Me: What makes them real? Are they pretend or are they real?
BFYOF: They’re real. Cos, they’re just in the country but the book seems like they’re not real but they’re actually real.
Me: They’re real but they’re not real in the book?
BFYOF: Yes!
Me: OK, hmmm, so how does that work?
BFYOF: Ummm…?
Me: So on the page they’re not real?
BFYOF: Yes because they are real but they just don’t show they’re real.
Me: OK, so … they could walk into the room here?
BFYOF: No!
Me: No?
BFYOF: Because they’re very very very long to their, to their country. It’s very very long.
Me: Aahh. They have their own country?
BFYOF: Yeah! And they don’t come to people’s houses because they don’t know where to go.
Me: OK, and the country they live in is far away.
BFYOF: Yes! Very far away. I think they’re …up (she points vaguely to the sky).
Me: Up in the sky?
BFYOF: Yes, there’s a big man up there who says Bing! Bang! Fo! Fum!
Me: I smell the blood of an Englishman!
BFYOF: …(she looks quizzical…)
Me: Is that how it goes? Well that’s interesting. I didn’t realise the monsters had another country.
BFYOF: Yeah? You didn’t know that?
Me: No, I didn’t know that.
BFYOF: Do you know why I know everything?
Me: Why do you know everything?
BFYOF: Because sometimes my brain just knows everything and it tells me…yeah.
Me: Wow!
BFYOF: Yeah everyday.
Me: You’re lucky! Does that work for everyone? Does everyone’s brain tell them stuff?
BFYOF: No, just me because I’m a special girl.
Me: You’re a special girl?
BFYOF: (whispers in my ear): Because I eat popcorn!
Me: Popcorn? Does that make you special or does that give you special powers?
BFYOF: That gives me special!
Me: Special powers?
BFYOF: No, not special powers. It just makes me special. Want me to wear the Tinkerbell dress?
Me: No, I like what you’re wearing.
BFYOF: OK.
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CONVERSATION WITH A TWO-YEAR-OLD
Camille: I don’t like girls or boys.
Me: Why not?
Camille: I don’t like boys. I spit them out.
Me: Who do you like?
Camille: I like … umm … my sister!
Me: Your sister is a girl. So you do like girls?
Camille: I love girls!!
Me: But, do you like girls?
Camille: I don’t like girls.
rs
CONVERSATION WITH A TWO-YEAR-OLD
Camille: We live in India
Me: No we don’t. We live in Australia.
Camille: No Dad. We live in India.
Me: Sorry sweetie, but we don’t. We live in Australia, not India.
Camille: Oohhh! Pfffft!
bakersmith 